What? No goulash?

(Title brought to you by my friend John.  Confused?  You obviously don’t follow rocks.in.a.jar on Facebook.)

Just over a month ago, I got together with two of my best friends for a stereotypical girl’s night, filled with copious amounts of laughter, junk food, and, well, even more junk food.  We painted our nails, caught up on each other’s lives, talked about boys (well, I talked about boys; both of them are married, so they have been happily excommunicated from the “boy-talk” club), and had a grand time.  It had been months since the three of us had the chance to get together, and it was a much-needed reunion.

Despite the slightly frivolous activities in which we engaged, our get-together had a deeper purpose as well.  But first, a little back story…

Last summer, I came across a blogging event that caught my eye.  I couldn’t tell you the name of this event, but it provided female bloggers a place to come together in community, share their goals and dreams, and then receive advice and encouragement regarding what they shared.  Every year, these women would come together again and again to do the same.  Of course, I was instantly drawn to the idea of this event.  The mutual vulnerability, the development of community with women you had just met, the chance to support and be supported by like-minded women.  Who wouldn’t love that?

Since this wasn’t an event I would likely be able to attend, I thought I might as well try to recreate it myself with two of my very best friends.  Although it took us six months to finally find a day in our busy schedules, we made it happen and it was amazing.

Me, Marissa, and Stacey at the first of many amazing weekends.

When planning our inaugural get-together, Stacey suggested that we each write a bucket list of 50 items to share with each other.  While the idea of a bucket list had crossed my mind before, I had never put much thought or effort into creating one.  But, it’s nothing like the encouragement and accountability of two of your best friends to finally make you suck it up and get it done!**

This bucket list creation occurred shortly after “The Event,” and it was honestly a huge part of my healing process.  Putting together a list of goals, dreams, hopes, and desires for my future reminded me that I actually had a future.  I mean, obviously I had a future, but you don’t really think all that logically when your foundation has been torn out from beneath you and your entire world is crumbling down as a result.  (Melodramatic?  Maybe.  Accurate description of how I felt?  Absolutely.)  The idea I had of my future had been built entirely on the concept of “us,” so when “us” no longer existed, I felt as if my future had been lost as well.  But, writing that list of 50 goals reassured me that, indeed, I do still have a very vibrant future to which I can look forward.

I owe this rediscovery of my future to these girls.  Hey, what are sisters for?  :)

You know, other than people to have crazy dress-up photo-shoot dance parties with? Seriously, I love these girls.

Just in case you were wondering, I’ll be sharing my bucket list with all of you later this week.

Wait?  What!?  Two posts in one week, from the girl who hasn’t written in months? 

Yes.  Two posts.  Maybe more.  Get excited.

But first, I’m wondering if any of you have a bucket list?  How about a group of close friends who can serve as support and encouragement as you work to achieve those goals?  I’d love to hear more in the comments section below.  (Yes, that was a shameless plea for comments.)

Until my next post…

Futuristically yours,

**Kind of like it’s nothing like the constant needling encouragement and accountability of one of your best blogging friends to make you suck it up and finally start posting again.  :)  Thanks, Alex.


11 thoughts on “What? No goulash?

  1. “The idea I had of my future had been built entirely on the concept of “us,” so when “us” no longer existed, I felt as if my future had been lost as well.” Bingo! You’ve beautifully articulated one of the hardest parts of a breakup, and figuring out goals of my own (from the small ones like wearing more dresses to big plans like getting my Ph.D) was a huge part of my healing and growing process. Its wonderful to hear how you’re doing and I’m excited to see more posts! Love you!

    • Hmmm, I wonder who this “Mini Me” could be… :) I love you too, Mal, and I’m so proud to have watched you heal and grow. You are amazing, and I am blessed by your friendship. <3

  2. Yaaay! I’ve been looking forward to your next post. Glad to see you’re doing well. Love the pictures of you. Looks like you had lots of fun. Hope to see you around soon and get to hang out with you again.

      • We could meet up in GR too. Doesn’t have to be down here. If you’re interested, there’s a concert by the Grand Rapids Orchestra tomorrow evening at 7:30pm. They’ll be playing select pieces of video games tunes.

  3. You’re welcome :) That sounds like a really fun idea, putting together a bucket list around people who know you well enough to make suggestions (and deletions). Perhaps Bucket Parties will be the next big thing?

    I don’t have a bucket list of my own. I’ll talk about crossing stuff off of it, but that’s really just code for “I’m glad I did that but I never want to do it again, or at least not for a good long while.” If I had to draw one up, it would look more like a list of countries I wanted to visit and other mundane life goals like raising a family instead of the usual jumping-out-of-an-airplane-while-on-fire daredevil stuff I see on those lists.

    • Bucket List Parties! I can see the Pinterest Boards filling up now! :)

      I’m pretty sure none of mine include setting myself on fire. They are much more tame than that. But hey, maybe I’ll add that to a “How I Want to Kick the Bucket” section on my bucket list…

  4. Pingback: Bucket List Extraordinaire! « {rocks.in.a.jar}

  5. Pingback: Bucket List Extraordinaire! | {breylee.writes}

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